Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize