Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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