I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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