Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Randomize
