How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
