if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
