3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
