Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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