Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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