listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
