I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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