Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
