i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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