New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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