Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
