If i come over, it means nothing
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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