I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Nicole vs. Life
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
