this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i black out too much to be "responsible"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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