Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
