I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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