its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
