he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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