I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
