omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
