singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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