My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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