i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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