and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
