So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
