We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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