Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Quick, to the slutcave!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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