no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
