Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
