New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize