Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Also, beer. Big fan.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
