They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
