She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
