Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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