does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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