I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
