I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
