Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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