whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
What drink are we having for lunch?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize