Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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