yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
