why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
