I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
