I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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