If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
