No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
