butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
