he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
