Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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