Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
