If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
