I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
