it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize