Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
