is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
