we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
