Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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