i don't like sucking hair
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I didn't notice because vodka
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
