No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
