real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She's like a pop up book from hell.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize