One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
