He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
