Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
