she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
