Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize