that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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