I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
