You're so nebulous sometimes
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
