it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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