she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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