I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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