You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize