Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize