You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I need a burrito and a hug.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
