is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This house was built for laser tag.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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